The Protector?

Interesting.  I've just taken a Jungian test, and come out with a result that is very intiguing.  I thought I might be the Artisan, but what came out is very close to what other people have picked up in readings etc for me (see previous posts for examples).  Apparantly, I'm a Protector Guardian (which again fits with what I believe I was set on this earth to be in every life - a warrior and a healer, a protector guardian.)  And there's only 10% of my type in the whole population!

Here's the c/p:

We are lucky that Protectors make up as much as ten percent the population, because their primary interest is in the safety and security of those they care about - their family, their circle of friends, their students, their patients, their boss, their fellow-workers, or their employees. Protectors have an extraordinary sense of loyalty and responsibility in their makeup, and seem fulfilled in the degree they can shield others from the dirt and dangers of the world. Speculating and experimenting do not intrigue Protectors, who prefer to make do with time-honored and time-tested products and procedures rather than change to new. At work Protectors are seldom happy in situations where the rules are constantly changing, or where long-established ways of doing things are not respected. For their part, Protectors value tradition, both in the culture and in their family. Protectors believe deeply in the stability of social ranking conferred by birth, titles, offices, and credentials. And they cherish family history and enjoy caring for family property, from houses to heirlooms.

Wanting to be of service to others, Protectors find great satisfaction in assisting the downtrodden, and can deal with disability and neediness in others better than any other type. They are not as outgoing and talkative as the Provider Guardians [ESFJs], and their shyness is often misjudged as stiffness, even coldness, when in truth Protectors are warm-hearted and sympathetic, giving happily of themselves to those in need.

Their reserve ought really to be seen as an expression of their sincerity and seriousness of purpose. The most diligent of all the types, Protectors are willing to work long, hard hours quietly doing all the thankless jobs that others manage to avoid. Protectors are quite happy working alone; in fact, in positions of authority they may try to do everything themselves rather than direct others to get the job done. Thoroughness and frugality are also virtues for them. When Protectors undertake a task, they will complete it if humanly possible. They also know better than any other type the value of a dollar, and they abhor the squandering or misuse of money. To save, to put something aside against an unpredictable future, to prepare for emergencies-these are actions near and dear to the Protector's heart. For all these reasons, Protectors are frequently overworked, just as they are frequently misunderstood and undervalued. Their contributions, and also their economies, are often taken for granted, and they rarely get the gratitude they deserve.

Soul of the Rose - cross-stitch

 I've started doing cross-stitch again, after many years away from it.  Really enjoying it too.  I know what you're thinking - 'why is she posting about cross-stitch in a Tarot blog?'  The answer is that i find cross-stitch to be deeply spiritual.  When I'm working away with the needle, my mind goes into that special place that is receptive to new things, ideas, and is open.  It's relaxing and mediative.

I'm currently working on a piece which is suitable for my user-name - it's a version of Waterhouse's 'Soul of the Rose':

So far I've done the top of her shoulder.  It's quite a complex pattern, though not overly so - I've followed more difficult ones.  There's quite a lot of half cross-stitches, so that should speed the process up a bit, and there's only a little backstitching on the lady herself and on the roses.  There's a few combined colours, but no-where near as bad as some I've done.  I don;t mind the odd combined colour, but when every single colour is combined, it gets very annoying.  There's only a couple of places where the canvas is allowed to show through, so virtually the whole canvas will be stitched (quite rare for me, I'm used to designs where most of the background is the canvas!)

A few new challenges, but enjoyable!  I started this piece on the 18th June.  I've just bought myself a new small thread-holder, so I'm busy wrapping all the threads up to keep them safe in there (a bit different from the usual tangled threads in the bottom of a bag!)  One of the girls at work who I've become friendly with has also given me some BEAUTIFUL charts for free - a couple of medieval style ones, an Arthurian sampler, and a Faery one.  The medieval triptych of a maiden, a castle and knight looks the most complex, but WOW, it's stunning.  The other medieval one is a knight and maiden, called a 'Chance Encounter'.  

I've had a quick look online, and found images of some of them, if anyone's interested:

 - this one's in black and white on the preview, but the actual stitches are in colour.  I have NO colour reference for it, so it'll be VERY interesting to see how it turns out!

No image for Chance Encounter, one of the medieval ones.

The Camelot sampler.  I LOVE the shape of this.  Some tough stitches in there though - wrapped backstitch, four-sided, herringbone, laisy daisy etc.  Still, I can't wait to have this hanging like a banner in my room.  The text, since it's quite a small image, is the text written on the sword in the stone - 'Whosoever pulleth out this sword of this stone and anvil is the true-born King of England'.  Remember, the Sword in the Stone is NOT Excalibur!

The other medieval-based one, the Triptych:

Numerology Reading

I'm not great with Numerology, so it was interesting to see what this reader came up with.  To be honest, I've had more accurate readings (see previous posts), and this seemed to be rather generic, but it was still interesting, nevertheless.

Here's what he said:

Averil, you have a very interesting numerology chart!

Based on your date of birth (June 24, 1985), along with your name as given at birth (Averil Elizabeth White), your numerology chart tells you that: - Your 'Life Path' is *8* - Your 'Expression' is *4* - Your 'Soul Urge' is *4* This is indeed a very unique combination of numbers!

Let's jump right in by starting to analyze your numerology chart ...

The best place to start is with one of the most basic calculations ... your "life path" -- based on your birth date of June 24, 1985 -- is 8.

Your month of birth is June, which is the 6th month. As 6 is a single digit, there's nothing to add here. Your day of birth is the 24th. Adding 2 + 4 gives us 6 Your year of birth is 1985. Adding 1 + 9 + 8 + 5 gives us 23. Adding 2 + 3 gives us 5 The totals, then, are 6, 6, and 5. To get our final answer, we add these three numbers together to give us 17: Adding 1 + 7 gives us 8 Here's how it looks in the Life Path Calculation Chart Read the each line from left to right, it shows the life path calculation for your month, day, year and how they are reduced together to arrive at your life path number. You are a natural born winner who is destined to make a lot of money. You are confident, charismatic and most comfortable in dealing with practical, down-to-earth affairs. You are blessed with an extraordinary drive and ambition as well as a fierce competitive spirit that gives you a definite edge in career and business. You thrive best in a job that has a predictable routine and a tall social ladder to climb. You take great pride in your physical appearance (er....not really.)and often appear very attractive to the opposite sex (yeeeah..... so why am I still single??), which is only a hazard if the romance happens on the job (unlikely!). You have excellent taste in clothes and know how to gain the focus of an entire room of strangers. (Nope.  I'm the one hiding in the corner.) You don't have much patience with people who are dreamy or mystical in nature and are a rationalist at heart. (Really, no.  I'm mystical and dreamy in nature myself.) You believe that an effect follows a definite cause and that logic and efficiency is what produces results in life. You are ruled by head and not your heart, (Nope.  I'm ruled by my heart, totally) especially in matters of business. Sometimes this gives you a bit of a reputation for being cut throat. Sometimes you are not so much respected as feared by those that you lead. (No - again, I don't have the heart for that - I'm too emotional) You are also the most status conscious of all of the numbers and aspire to be a pillar of the community. (I try to help people, but that's all. I don;t aspire to lead.) However, one of your life challenges might be to learn how to share your wealth in a truly philanthropic way rather than try to appear charitable for appearance's sake. (Again, no - I truly want to help people, that is my raison d'être in life.) Your will and determination to succeed is unrivalled by any other number. (Now there is a slight truth to that - I am resilient and stubborn!) Once you conceive of an idea you have absolutely no problem sticking with it and seeing it through to completion even if it takes a number of years. Often you win at the game of life because you had the tenacity to be the last man standing. (True there.) You tend to be connected more to material wealth than spiritual wealth and to lust more than sex. (Er.... no.  I'm more spiritualistic than materialistic, and I believe fully in true love.) Many of you marry for social reasons or because the individual seems right for the position of spouse. (I don;t even hold with that idea.  Marriage is for showing your love and commitment to the other person, not for social reasons or to advance your position!  What a medieval idea!) Your family unit often conceals a lot of secrets as when these relationships do not work out, you cannot bear the humiliation of separation or divorce. Although you have a lot of courage in other areas of your life you often don't have the courage to end a bad relationships for fear of what others might think. (Again, seriously wrong.  Everyone I know knows that I don't give two hoots what others think of what I do.) Often the strength of your personality is overwhelming for those who come into contact with you. This strong personality is fantastic when it comes to career but it can damage your relationships with family and friends. Many 8's do not have real friends but rather a collection of individuals who admire their power. Likewise there is a tendency for your family or children to feel neglected as your career takes precedence over their emotional demands. One of your life challenges is to avoid dedicating your entire life to material success and allowing for spontaneity and love in your life.  (I do have a strong personality, that's true, but I don't overpower people.) You are also very athletic and likely to be good at sports. As you like to play as hard as you work you enjoy any past time that is competitive including golf, chess, equestrian pursuits.  (pffff!  Athlectic, me??  I like fencing and swimming, but that's it.) Your Expression - which describes your potential natural talents and abilities - works out to be a 4.   The height of self-expression for you is when you are caught up on all of your work, the house is clean, the bills are paid and everything is in perfect order. You are the number that covets civilization and all of its contents the most. If life could be defined as a machine you are the nuts and bolts that holds everything together.  (No.  I'm most content and feel the height of self-expression for me is when I'm being creative!) You believe that action speaks volumes more than words and express your respect and love for others by using a practical down-to-earth approach. You believe the greatest path to your own personal truth is to live by your personal convictions. For this reason, you are often very concerned with taking care of yourself, maintaining your belongings and property and making sure that your family and children are well cared for.  (I am very caring when it comes to others.) You are a diligent, hard worker who is always willing to lend a helping hand but only if it is for the good of all concerned. You don't have much patience with arrogant people and you openly express your dislike of people you consider to be controlling or pushy. (True!!) Sometimes this resistance expresses itself as an outright defiance of authority. You are very courageous and almost always right but often your willingness to fall on your own sword for the sake of principle also makes you "dead right."  (Again, true!) You love nature and especially gardening and landscaping. You may express your love for the earth by participating in ecological and animal preservation causes. Number 4's often also own many pets and many relate to their pets better than they relate to people.  (Ah, finally - something that truly relates to me!) As you can be quite rigid in your opinions, you often end up in many arguments. One of your challenges may be to learn to express yourself in a way that does not seem autocratic or bossy to others. (I did used to, but I've learned to be flexible.) You also have very strong likes and dislikes that can seem prejudiced or overly biased to others. (Not really.  I'm very openminded.) This can hold you back both professionally and personally. When it comes to love you is a very attentive and loyal partner. Sometimes to get attention you may play with a lover's insecurities. Among your negative tendencies is creating jealousy or suspicion on purpose or being obsessive or possessive. (Fair enough!) Your role in society is to create structures that bring fulfillment to the highest of human aspirations. You are a wonderful planner and administrator (administrator is true enough - I've been described as the best clerk in the office!!) and you know how to facilitate organizations and services that meet people's needs. Many fours are skilled at carpentry, sewing, horticulture, and interior decoration. Many of you are good with your hands, which make you excellent sculptors and surgeons. (I am good with my hands - I do a lot of creative things) You are creative, intelligent and have an attentiveness to detail that can border on obsession. Your self-discipline and willingness to practice until something is perfect also leads fours to careers in performance, especially athletics and music. Your personal style is casual yet tasteful. Your budget often also determines what you wear, as you don't believe in spending money foolishly. You judge people by their inner beauty and not their outer appearance. The people you judge most favorably, however are those that agree with your opinions. Your insistence on financial security, charity and the stewardship of the young often makes you a pillar of the community at a very young age. The passing down of wisdom is often how a number four can best express their love of their community. (I agree with all of that.) Soul Urge We have already done all the mathematics necessary to work out this number. It is simply the total of the top row (the vowels) of your full birth name. In your case Averil, this totals 4. Your soul craves stability, beauty and order. You are continually distressed by the natural chaos that often describes life and your own life may be entirely devoted to restoring things to balance. This often leaves dutiful and responsible number fours to a long life of service or slaving away for individuals who don't seem to appreciate all that you do for them.  (VERY true.) You are decisive, thorough and intolerant by nature and nothing disturbs you more than a messy room, undone dishes or unclipped grass. Your spirit often moves you to accomplish ten times as much as most people would in a day as you set about combating decay and dirt.  (God no.  Totally the opposite!) Your motivation for being obsessed with the appearance of things is that you truly do believe that "cleanliness is next to Godliness." You don't believe that love can thrive in a disorderly house. You are a natural Feng Shui practitioner when it comes to decluttering and arranging furniture because you intuitively realize that not paying attention to these things can create energy blocks to prosperity and love.  (OK... *looks at her tip of a room and laughs* No way!!) The problem is that often others find your perfectionist nature very hard to live with. (I'm nothing LIKE a perfectionist!!) Your insistence on order often results in disorder as others rebel against what they see as an attempt to control them or tell them how to live. Fours often have difficulty with teenagers and children as they don't always appreciate a child's need to let loose and create.  (Totally wrong - I feel most comfortable with children and animals - I'm a loose creative person myself.) Controlling your immediate surroundings is very important for you both at home and at work. Life often has you feeling powerless so controlling the little details makes you feel more emotionally secure. Unfortunately this tendency can extend to trying to control the behavior of your family, friends and coworkers. This earns you a reputation for being stern, pushy and stubborn.  (I am stubborn, but that's it!  Mum always says I'm so liad back, I'm horizontal!!) You secretly resent people who seem to be unconventional or free thinkers as you consider yourself to be among the ones that work very hard to keep the fabric of society stitched together. (God no!) As your own self-esteem is gauged by how hard you work you have absolutely zero tolerance for those who seem intent on questioning or destroying the values that you have slaved so hard to maintain. (No...I'm one of the ones questioning everything!) Often when you are feeling insecure your sense of humor completely disappears.  (true) You sometimes forget your own strength when it comes to influencing other people. You are very powerful astrally foul moods are like a dark cloud whose stench paralyzes and demoralizes all that come into contact with it. You can do more damage to someone's psyche with a single sour look. You need to remember that you have the capability to traumatize a person for life. This is a valuable skill when it comes to protecting your territory or setting boundaries but it is not healthy for your children or your spouse. (That is true, I think.  I've had someone mention my eyes and 'looking thunderclouds' as she put it, before.) However when you are in a sunny mood there is nobody more delightful to be with you. Love radiates from you like the light of the sun and your life is full of love and laughter. You are a respected member of the community and others seek out your approval and advice. (True, also, I think.  I do tend to get most people coming to me to pour out their troubles to.  I'm a good listener.) In order to make yourself and others the happiest, you need to learn not to be so rigid in your thinking or so dogmatic in your actions. Although you get a kind of Zen high from repetitive chores others are often bored to tears. (No, I get bored too!  But like I also said above, I'm very openminded too. ) Tolerance and forgiveness of those who are not able to meet your high personal expectations will go a long way towards creating a happy household and peaceful work place for you.

Free CD for all AT members

I've posted up a link on the AT forum for a free CD of my music available to all members, and I've just had the most amazing feedback on my music:

Oh my, I am now listening to the CD I burned. Some of you may think I have finally gone over the edge but I have never listened to music that has touched me the way this music has. My eyes just started tearing as I listened to the Isle of Apples.. I had such a feeling of longing and loneliness, of wanting to return to a home of long ago so badly. The only thing I can think of is of a home in a past life. I have never had this type of reaction listening to music before and I have listened to a wide variety. Even as the tears streamed down my face I felt such a warmth flow through me.. Yes, I know a contradiction to what I had typed above but so many feelings and emotions were flowing. WinterRose, I really can not find the right words to say what I am feeling as I listen to this beautiful music.. Nor is just saying thank you nearly enough.. but THANK YOU!
I have a feeling I may wear this CD out.


That's incredible!  I've known for a long time that my meaning in life is to be a healer - the fact I've moved someone like this through music is incredible to me.

Energy Scan for Winter Rose by Simone

Energy scan for WinterRose

As soon as I connect, the lines "I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad", repeating over and over, blast loudly into my head (from the song "Clint Eastwood" by the Gorillaz). I realise I hear it, low key, in my head each time I see your name, I don't know why)

I see you behind a veil, in a ballerina outfit, kneeling curled up like you're waiting for the music to start so you can unfurl and dance. However, the music playing doesn't seem to be the one you're waiting for.

The song I hear interferes with everything I want to ask, it's really loud, so I finally ask: "What's with that song?"

I hear you answer, but it's impossible to understand what you're saying, it gets drowned out by the song.

I ask if you can turn it down, but you shake your head and shrug, seems it's out of your control.

So I decide to try something: ask the music itself why it is there. Surprisingly, I get an answer, sung in the same rhythm, more or less:

"I'm here 'cuz emotions drown everything else"

I ask what emotions they are, and what they are drowning out.

Finally, the music recedes a bit into the background, as if it could get lower once it had been heard.

"All kinds of emotions, and rational thinking" I hear. Then I see you have gotten up.

"Yes" I hear you say. "I get overrun and it blocks me completely, all I can do is curl up and wait."

"How come?" I ask, and the answer again takes me by surprise: "I wish I didn't feel so much".

"Are you sure?" I ask. "Wouldn't you rather learn to manage the emotions?"

"That's impossible" you say.

The music gets a tad louder again, so I ask it if it is indeed impossible.

"No" the music says. "I have a volume knob, you know!"

"Where is it and how can WinterRose get access to it?" I ask.

"Many ways" I hear. "She can visualise it, or take a few deep breaths concentrating on calm whenever it is needed, she can remind herself of a music she likes, and so on and so on" (I realise the voice of the "music" has a British accent, which makes me smile).

I ask if there is anything else you want to tell yourself, and you say "No. I have heard all I need to hear right now."

I see you reaching out, turning a knob and the music fades to almost silence, then you wave and disappear...

Empath reading

Thanks to Jenny for the AMAZING Empath reading. It was totally accurate and spot-on. I'm posting it here so it doesn't get lost.

6th Chakra (third eye between and a little above the eyebrows): Sees the good in everything; a very optimistic person who doesn't wallow in self-pity or negativity. Her relationship with God/Goddess/Spirit is light and lively. She's very open-minded and not one to be hemmed in by heavy religious dogma. She has her own meaningful rituals and ways she gives thanks and gratitude to the Universe. Her interests are many and quite eclectic. She's the one in the family who folks say, "There she goes...off on a hunt for the unusual." Possibly an oft-sickly child, or at least one who didn't always run free with the other kids. She learned to entertain herself early on and is happy with her nose in a book, or off exploring in the woods by herself; though she loves it when she does encounter like-minded people who do not find her interests odd. Has psychic abilities, knows it, but often calls it by other names so as not to freak out those who would have issues with this. She's really come into her own as an adult, and for the most part, cares not what others think about her. This is something she's had to work on. She now stands tall in her own truth and is healthiest when she's honest with herself and others.

5th Chakra (throat): Rather shy with those she doesn't know, but a "hoot" with a fabulous sense of humor with those she's comfortable with. Gentle and kind, especially with animals. An Animal Empath...can tell what an animal is feeling even when those around her see no outward signs emitting from the animal. Would make an excellent animal veterinarian; her interests would lead her to become knowledgeable about alternative therapies. More right brained than left brained, though she does have access to excellent science/math skills (not sure she realizes this). A woman who doesn't chatter incessantly; knows and appreciates silence. Realizes that silence can speak volumes. (I saw her step back into the shadows when encountering not-so-kind groups of people; intimidating people. Looked like a school setting. Probably symbolic, with special meaning to you and you alone.) Interesting that she can be quite flamboyant in some circumstances and the opposite in others (I heard, "She was hurt as a child and watchful of when she can be herself and when it's best to hold back.) (I saw two extremes: a really messy desk and then a really neat desk. Symbolic, perhaps.) She likes order but sometimes her creative side can get all willy-nilly, flinging stuff this way and that, and it's not always immediate that things get cleaned up. Loves the earth and relates to the smallest of creatures...insects, birds, small furry animals, etc.

4th Chakra (heart): A friend for life if you're lucky enough to be counted among her friends. Respected by elders for her mature and responsible ways. Someone you'd want on your "team" because she doesn't shirk work. Dislikes liars and strives for honesty. Abhors cheaters (I saw a child, disgusted, having to deal with someone who was a constant cheater. Could be from a past life...please disregard if past lives are not in your beliefs). Looking for a life partner; if she's found someone already or is thinking about someone in this way, she's contemplating if they TRULY have the qualities she's seeking. Has had some prior love relationships but they've either gone flat or never really took off the way she would have liked. Again, a little shy with folks she doesn't know, so it takes awhile for anyone to really know the "real" her; the down deep her. Guarded, at least to some extent. Take me as I am, because I can't become what you want me to be.

3rd Chakra (solar plexus): Right on track with using her personal power center. Every day she's getting to know herself better; is really proud of who she is. Sure of herself on her best days; hesitant when fearful. Open to change but wants to look at change from all sides before she takes a step. I have LOTS to offer; don't sell me short! Loves celebrations and festivities; the more the merrier. (I'm shown cakes and pastries.) A sweet tooth? Enjoyed games as a child; sometimes outside but more games that made her use her brain. In some ways, this love of games has extended to adulthood, in ways she knows. Word puzzles? Number puzzles?

New Deck Reading

Right, New Deck interview, same as I did with the Robin Wood, but this time for Shadowscapes.

This is using FireRaven's spread and the Shadowscapes deck.

****** 5 ****** 6 ******
********** 4 **********
****** 3 ****** 2 ******
********** 1 **********

1. Tell me about yourself. What is your most important characteristic?

Ace of Wands. Oh wow - straight from the off... this card contains one of my most beloved animal guides, the Fox. This card is the card of new beginnings, new adventures.

"My most important characteristic is that I am there, fleet of foot and strong of spirit, to guide you on the path to self-enlightenment. I am here to help you discover your self-confidence and courage. I am like the wand - a tool only. What you see in me comes from deep within yourself. I am supported by your spirit guides - you can contact them through me."

2. What are your strengths as a deck?

Ten of Pents - "I can help you see patterns in things that are occurring. I can be used for every-day readings, and will always tell you the straight, honest truth. I am here for the long-haul, not a deck that well be in and out of your life in a few months."

3. What are your limits as a deck?

Three of Swords - "I'm no good at emotional readings. I'm a deck of air, of intellect, and of fire, of creativity. I'm best used on my own, not with another deck. I will tell you the truth, I won't obscure things, and that may hurt."

4. What do you bring to the table -- what are you here to teach me?

Death - "You see that Phoenix rising from the ashes? That's you. I'm here to help you on that transformation, and on the path that follows it. There's a fire burning in you - I'm here to show you how to let it light your way."

5. How can I best learn from and collaborate with you?

Strength - "Believe in yourself."

6. What is the potential outcome of our working relationship?

Nine of Cups - "Work with me, and you will achieve health, prosperity and good fortune."

An extra couple of cards now, asking for clarification on the 3 of swords:

7. When should I work with you as opposed to my other decks?

Ace of Pentacles - "I am the card of earth, of health and wealth. I show the Lizard, a creature of divine wisdom. I am the deck you should turn to for matters of the physical or spiritual world."

The Journey Spread

This is my first reading with my new Shadowscapes tarot - the spread is from the LWB that came with the deck. I'm just trying out the deck, so interested to see what it has to say for itself....

The spread is as follows:

------1-------------5----
---2----3-------4---6---7

1-3 Leaving: what you're leaving behind, what is no longer satisfying you, or what is holding you back. Can be three distinct things, or the cards cold work together to describe one thing.

4. Why: why you are being called to embark on this journey at this time.

5. Star: what is guiding or leading you on the journey.

6. Challenge: A challenge you will face.

7. Destination: What you are moving towards. This is the place you or your higher self wants to get to (for this leg of the journey, at least.)



So....

1-3 Leaving: Judgement, 2 of Pents, Knight of Cups.
I think these relate to one thing - I am no longer being judged on what I believe, no longer having to constantly juggle my spirituality with the condemnations of another. I have begun the transformation and I have already started my journey. I am leaving behind my idealist outlook on life, but not abandoning my spirituality. I'm no longer having to juggle the different sides of my own being.

4 Why: 6 of Wands.
To show me that I can triumph over the obstacles life throws in my path, to help build my self-esteem without being overly proud.

5. Star: 9 of Wands
Vigilance, and inner strength is the message of the 9 of wands for me. This card tells me that it is my own inner strength that is keeping watch over me. I've been told I'm as stubborn as an ox, but I will not go down without a fight. If I fall at a hurdle, I will get up and continue on.

6. Challenge: 5 of Swords.
This card is warning me against becoming too involved in my own self-interests.

7. Destination: 4 of Pentacles.
I believe this shows I am heading towards a release from this card, as opposed to heading towards it - especially after reading the last card. I need to look to the wider world, try to use my abilities to help others - a challenge in itself as I have been so burnt for doing so before. But this is what this journey is about - regaining my trust and abilities in order to help others. I am a healer, I have known that for many years - and I need to use my skills on myself first, and then to help others. I am materialistic, I know that. I pulled another card to show where I am headed after being released from the 4 of pents, and drew the Queen of Cups, which is my own Minor Arcana personality card. This journey is about developing my spiritual side, releasing my possessive materialistic side (stop playing on the computer all night, every night, and spend some time connecting to Spirit instead!)

Intrigued a little, I went on to pull another card to ask HOW to release myself from the 4 of pents and to continue my journey - and I pulled the Ace of Wands. I can use my creativity to better connect to the world of Spirit - let my inspiration guide me, and allow Spirit to come to me. This card in my deck also features Foxes - one of my animal guides. By connecting more with my animal guides, and allowing them to take me on journeys through their hidden lands, they can teach me what I need to know.

An update

My word, has it really been that long since I last updated this blog? I apologise to all my watchers. I'm back on the blog, I'm back doing Tarot (after a long absence there as well), I'm free from my previous leeches and worries, and I'm now ready to embark on a new journey.

I have a new deck, purchased this afternoon, which is absolutely stunning - the Shadowscapes Tarot. I'll do a reading with that at some point. It's quite late over here now, however, so I'll sign off for tonight, but I will be back soon with more Tarot news and readings.

Dragons Tarot

I've just treated myself to the Dragon's Tarot, and... well, as a Tarot deck, I'm not that impressed.  Many of the images seem to have nothing to do with the meanings of the actual card - take the Lovers, for instance: a dragon lies slain by a knife through the neck in a pool of its own blood.  From the blood a man rises up, obviously having just slain the dragon.  What exactly has that got to do with the lovers?  Or the Hermit: a dragon standing atop its hoard, furiously guarding it? Temperance: a Hydra with one head drooling venom into the sea.

So I've decided to remove the names and the borders, trim it down to just the artwork, and apply my own meanings to the cards, totally ignoring the traditional names and meanings.  In my mind now, the Hermit has become the Hoarder, the Lovers has become Vengeance, Temperance has become Temper, etc.  It is a beautiful deck, and the images are gorgeous...they just have nothing to do with the traditional meanings.  I'm going to try a reading with it later, and see how it reads.  

Apologies for not drawing a card for the day for the past few days - everything's been like the chariot lately.

Two of Wands

Card of the day: Two of Wands.

Hmm, quite literally, the 'world is in hand...' so the world is in my hand - I can achieve anything I want today... so perhaps I don't need to be worried about going to the dentist... (bleaugh).

Reflection on yesterday's card: Five of Wands

Boy, was yesterday ever a five of wands day!  I spent ALL DAY trying to get through to newcastle college to ask them about enroling on an ECDL (European Computer Driving License) course... could I get through to them?  Nope!  Didn't answer my emails, and the phone was constantly engaged.  I spend about an hour on hold before I gave up and tried again throughout the day and still couldn't get through.  

5 of Wands

Card of the Day: 5 of Wands

Looks like today everything is going to be disagreeing with me.  I need to make a stand and fight my own corner, and not let anything get me down.  Now, the combatants staves on this card form a rough pentacle, suggesting that it's spiritually and emotionally that I'll be feeling the strain and the strife.  

Reflection on yesterday's card:

Yesterday's card was the Queen of pentacles, and it was spot on.  I spent much of the day being the Queen of Pents, looking after the house, the dog, and helping my parents when they got back home.

Queen of Pentacles

Today's card for the day is the Queen of Pentacles.  The Queen's energy is typical nurturing, caring and practical. Today's going to be a house-work day, since my parents are coming home this afternoon, so I shall be 'taking care' of the house and getting it looking spick and span.  Home life is very important to this Queen, so I think it's pretty clear what this card means in relation to today.  

In other news today; I finished my latest musical composition last night.  I haven't composed for quite some time, due to Grandpa's illness, but I'm pleased with how this one turned out.  You can find it here: http://www.macjams.com/song/54703

New Deck Interview (Robin Wood)

This is using FireRaven's spread and the Robin Wood deck. 

****** 5 ****** 6 ******
********** 4 **********
****** 3 ****** 2 ******
********** 1 **********

1. Tell me about yourself. What is your most important characteristic?

Knight of Cups - A light-hearted, playful take on a tarot deck. 

2. What are your strengths as a deck?

Temperance - It'll tell me what I need to know - but only what I need to know. Nothing in excess.

3. What are your limits as a deck?

King of Pentacles - It is an earthly object, nothing more - a tool towards the end.

4. What do you bring to the table -- what are you here to teach me?

The Sun - It is here to help illuminate my path, to ease my journey.

5. How can I best learn from and collaborate with you?

8 Cups - learn to rely on my own spiritual gifts more. Stop using books and other material things (although I'm pretty good at that already now) and trust myself (which I still don't do fully yet).

6. What is the potential outcome of our working relationship?

The Hierophant - I'll have greater control over my gifts - perhaps Tarot will form a greater part of my daily ritual than it currently does? (I've not been using the cards for a while...)

Robin Wood deck - first impressions.

OK, I'm typing this as I open the packaging, so this is my real first impression.  It's from Amazon, so off comes the basic Amazon cardboard outer.... to reveal the cards in their shrink-wrapped box.  I hate this sort of shrink-wrapping, it's a pain to get off.... a few minutes later, I'm in.  the box is nice and smooth, feels like it's good quality.  The box is nice one - front opening instead of top-opening, so it's easier to keep the cards inside that box.

Opening up, there's a small black-and-white leaflet as opposed to a book.  The meanings for each of the cards are laid out clearly, with singular keywords picked out in bold for the pips.  I tend to read through intuition alone, so I won't be referring to that very often, but it's useful to have anyway.  The back of the booklet contains three spreads - a 15 card, the CC, and a 5 card specific question spread.

The cards themselves are also wrapped, facing upwards with the fool on top.  The cards are a good size - a bit bigger than normal I think, but not too big that they can't be handled with ease.  Unwrapping them, the cardstock feels good and smooth, well printed and not too thick.  The quality of the drawing and printing is beautiful, and very typical of Robin Wood.  

Going through the deck there are some cards that jump out as my instant favourites (just from the majors) - The Magician, the High Priestess, The Lovers (I love the Yin and Yang of the male/female, moon/sun) Strength, The Hermit, Justice, Death (the most beautiful version of Death I have seen in a deck for a long time, and reminds me of my own name, Winter Rose) and The Star.  The minors are incredibly readable and beautiful - I think I might end up using this deck now as my main deck.  There are also two extra cards which have the 5-card spread and the 15 card.

As for the backs of the cards, although I'm not keen on the green, they're not as bad as some people make it out to be.  All in all, I'm impressed with the deck, and I'll be trying a reading with them later.

Waiting for Robin Wood

I've just ordered the Robin Wood Tarot deck from amazon, and it should be arriving today.  I've already got one deck, but another deck is always useful, and it does me good to change my decks every once in a while as it means I read more into the cards, I pick things up etc.  It does the decks good too to have a rest from being read.  Some people think that having more than one deck isn't a good idea - I used to read for others, so I had one deck for me and one deck for my clients, but I soon learned that it didn't really matter which deck I used, as long as the deck was readable and 'spoke' to me.  I've been using my old deck for quite a while now, and while I absolutely love it, I've used it so much that the images and meanings have started to get a bit muddy - not physically, it still looks as new as it did when I got it, but in my mind.  Rather than reading intuitively, I've found myself reading by habit, which doesn't give me as clear answers as it should.  I'll probably end up using the two decks interchangeably - whichever feels right for the question being asked.

Behind the Name - WinterRose Moon-Hawk

I don't claim to have had a tough life - I have a family who loves me, a roof over my head and food in my stomach, but I have had to deal with many Tower-like situations before. And from each of those ordeals, I've blossomed and grown.  People have likened me to the Phoenix, but I am drawn not to the power and majesty of that wonderful creature, but to the simple strength and determination of the Winter Rose.  This little plant blooms each year in the depths of winter, opening its delicate petals regardless of frost and snow.  I have proven many times that I have the same simple determination and inner strength to keep opening my petals after they've been bitten by frost and rebuild myself after a Tower-like event has taken place.

Moon-Hawk comes from the planet that rules my very being, and the creature that symobolises me.  In Tarot, the Moon is about psychic awareness and visions.  In Astrology, the moon symbolises the inner being that very few people get to see or experience - the ultimate private self.  It also represents psychic awareness and the instinctual self.  In essence, this name relates to my very inner being - my 'True Name' if you will.  Like the Winter Rose, the Hawk represents strength, as well as truth and intuition.  Interestingly, the Hawk is actually a solar animal, which balances out the lunar aspects to this name.

Both these names came through meditation and discussion with my guides and totem animals.