Energy Scan for Winter Rose by Simone

Energy scan for WinterRose

As soon as I connect, the lines "I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad", repeating over and over, blast loudly into my head (from the song "Clint Eastwood" by the Gorillaz). I realise I hear it, low key, in my head each time I see your name, I don't know why)

I see you behind a veil, in a ballerina outfit, kneeling curled up like you're waiting for the music to start so you can unfurl and dance. However, the music playing doesn't seem to be the one you're waiting for.

The song I hear interferes with everything I want to ask, it's really loud, so I finally ask: "What's with that song?"

I hear you answer, but it's impossible to understand what you're saying, it gets drowned out by the song.

I ask if you can turn it down, but you shake your head and shrug, seems it's out of your control.

So I decide to try something: ask the music itself why it is there. Surprisingly, I get an answer, sung in the same rhythm, more or less:

"I'm here 'cuz emotions drown everything else"

I ask what emotions they are, and what they are drowning out.

Finally, the music recedes a bit into the background, as if it could get lower once it had been heard.

"All kinds of emotions, and rational thinking" I hear. Then I see you have gotten up.

"Yes" I hear you say. "I get overrun and it blocks me completely, all I can do is curl up and wait."

"How come?" I ask, and the answer again takes me by surprise: "I wish I didn't feel so much".

"Are you sure?" I ask. "Wouldn't you rather learn to manage the emotions?"

"That's impossible" you say.

The music gets a tad louder again, so I ask it if it is indeed impossible.

"No" the music says. "I have a volume knob, you know!"

"Where is it and how can WinterRose get access to it?" I ask.

"Many ways" I hear. "She can visualise it, or take a few deep breaths concentrating on calm whenever it is needed, she can remind herself of a music she likes, and so on and so on" (I realise the voice of the "music" has a British accent, which makes me smile).

I ask if there is anything else you want to tell yourself, and you say "No. I have heard all I need to hear right now."

I see you reaching out, turning a knob and the music fades to almost silence, then you wave and disappear...